Sunday, August 31, 2008

Labor Day Edition

After gorging ourselves on diet coke and homemade pizza we drop Dance of the Dead in the cd player. It doesn't take long to hear "goddess" uttered and then us to take a sip of Newcastle. I remember that this seems to take place after the Plague Herds of Excelis but since we'd have to listen to the whole series we settle for just being slightly befuddled when Benny complains about Iris.

Matthew Brenher comes onto to the scene as Grand Marshall Sstac and Tim quickly picks up that Brenher was in Red Dawn.

Things start blowing up, Benny keeps uttering "goddess", and we start getting drunk. Benny and Sstac end up accidently inhaling some crystal memories from the Colgarians.

Me: I do that sometimes as well.

Tim and Angelie start doing Ice Warrior impersonations as Azzar and Karter try to fix things on the ship.

Tim: It was much worse in the 60's and 70's. They drew every "s" out then.

Benny talks about digging up Martian tombs but forgets to mention going back to Mars for a conference and reading of xeno-porn. Then they start calling each other different names and things start getting really weird. Apparently the stuff they snorted is manifesting themselves through visions generated by the memories of the Colgarians.

We think Benny said shit and then we do various impersonations of Ice Warriors saying shit. Apparently though Benny is the Fonz as she beats a lift into submission to take them to level 10. But her mojo isn't as good since as soon as they get inside the lift starts acting up again.

Sstac goes back to his Colgarian persona and tries to get Benny to hook up with him. Then Benny gets into the act as well. It seems the Colgarian couple had some issues and were rather dysfunctional. A bitch slap later knocks sense into Benny. Eventually they get out of the lift and have a little heart to heart as they're climbing up the shaft.

Azzar is calling on the hounds of hell to kick some ass for the ship being attacked. Benny and Sstac get on to the bridge and this is where things go all Edward Albee again. Azzar ends up slamming her fist in a console, killing herself.

A crap ass plot twist shows up as we learn Karter is really alive and a thief. He's cleared a way to the shuttles which of course gives Benny and Sstac a way off the ship as it's careening towards a satellite. Benny reminds Karter that he's got some precious jewels between his legs. The shots to the family jewels doesn't completely work though as Sstac ends up going over again to his Colgarian persona and gets shot by Karter. Insert tender moments as Colgarian Benny says goodbye to Colgarian Sstac.

Me: That's kind of a lackluster ending.

Tim just shrugs. I don't know how to feel about the ending. I like how she tried to emotionally connect with the Ice Warrior. Maybe it was just the beer but that was the easiest part to follow, their other relationship.

Next up is The Spectre of Lanyon Moor with Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor and Maggie Stables as Evelyn Smythe. We meet up with Scryfan and Sancreda.

Tim: Sancreda sounds like Sylvester McCoy with a cold.

Sancreda apparently is left behind by Scryfan.

Tim: E.T.! Phone home!

There's a great debate whether going one way for breakfast or the other to check out some ancient tunnels.

Me: He's passing up breakfast?

The Brigadier shows up on the scene.

Me: Ya!!!

The Brig laments the lack of coffee:

Tim: There's no coffee coming if you're expecting the womenfolk to make it. I'm still holding out hope that he'll appear in the show with Tennant.

The Doctor and Evelyn meet up with the upstart archaeologist not named Benny and get an offer of breakfast.

Tim: I'm impressed she's more excited about breakfast than he is.

Professor Morgan is a grumpy old man who's not down with technology in the field of archaeology. The Doctor and Evelyn show up and meet up with The Brig.

Tim: Is the Brigadier fishing for tail?

Me: I think Evelyn is fishing for booty.

Tim: It's ashame this wasn't on tv. This might be the best of these "first meetings" between the Doctor and the Brigadier.

Evelyn begs for breakfast as the Doctor wants her to help with research.

Me: Damn, she's all about breakfast.

Ludgate asks if he can get the Doctor and the Brigadier anything before he leaves.

Tim:(as the Doctor) Breakfast? The Doctor isn't used to anyone being so good at research since Sarah Jane. I'm liking Colin Baker as the Doctor much better in the audios than on the TV. Maybe it's because I'm not distracted by his coat. And probably because he's got a companion he's not bickering with. Not that Peri was dumb, but with Evelyn he's got someone that's just as interested in history as he is.

Evelyn makes a new friend who ends up getting eaten by what sounds like a bunch of gremlins. She's recovering back at the institute and Ludgate offers to get her some tea. She asks for hot chocolate.

Me: (as Evelyn) And some biscuits?

The Doctor bitches out Professor Morgan and then Evelyn makes him apologize. He proceeds to suck up to Morgan asking for his expertise as an archaeologist.

Me: Because he doesn't have Benny handy.

Tim: He hasn't met Riversong yet.

Evelyn makes the world's worst cat burglar as she gets busted by Sir Flint after sneaking back into his home. Then we get the baddie giving exposition section of the audio as he explains why he's doing what he's doing. Evelyn's not the greatest prisoner as all the she can toss back is that Flint is nuts. Eventually Evelyn escapes and meets up with Ludgate. She goes through a series of things that Flint has done to her.

Me: She can't do the list of horrible things to have happened to her like Lisa can as Benny.

Meanwhile the Doctor and the Brigadier are trying to stop Morgan's housekeeper who's being controlled by the gremlins.

Evelyn and Ludgate go back to Flint's house and my lightbulb goes on just before Evelyn's does regarding Ludgate working for Flint.

Morgan's housekeeper, Moynihan, releases Sancreda. He talks about getting revenge after 18,000 years.

Me: That's some serious amount of hate and discontent built up.

The hate and discontent proves to be wasted as we learn that Sancreda actually killed Scryfan 18,000 years ago. The Brigadier proves once again how much of a man he is by taking Sancreda on mano e mano. Honestly, the Brigadier is the man's man.

From Classic Who's Man Man we move to Benny and her own Man's Man, Jason Kane who are joined by Brax and Adrian in the season three finale The Mirror Effect.

Me: Let the mind cruk begin!

We're dropped into the middle of the action as Jason and Benny emerge through a mirror. We also learn that Benny might have a taste for SM as she notes with a bit of glee the architecture. Brax and Adrian arrive at some other place, also taking Jason's name in vain. It doesn't take them long to find the first body.

Benny and Jason have a fight over whether or not Jason should touch things and whether or not he's her sidekick. Benny then fires up a console.

Me: So it's okay for Benny just to randomly touch shit but not Jason?

Tim: She's a professional random...button...toucher.

Brax and Adrian recover some logs that show that something nasty happened at the site. Meanwhile Dr. Carnivel attacks Jason and Benny only stopping when Carnivel draws blood. Then insert some classic Benny/Jason comedy as she backhand thanks him for saving her and then jabs at him while asserting her position of authority in pricking Jason to Carnivel. Add in a dash of exposition as Carnivel explains that Benny and Jason were actually leading an expedition that Carnivel was a part of but that Benny and Jason don't remember.

Mirror Benny shows up starts accussing Brax of engineering her getting knocked up by Adrian to use Peter in the Collection. Adrian arrives to shatter Mirror Benny. They try to race down into the planet to save Benny and Jason.

Meanwhile Benny is about to do something stupid and go through the mirror again, against Jason's advice. Carnivel ends up pushing Benny through the mirror and Adrian arrives, jumping through it. Jason admits to being scared and not trusting what's on the other side of the mirror.

Me: Jason's thinking smart.

Tim: Yep.

Jason gets the brush off from Brax regarding any past experience Brax has had with the mirror. He then hears Mirror Benny crying out for him and he rushes to her. He gets a bit of wish fullfillment as Mirror Benny tells him that she loves him, that Peter is a part of him. They kiss a few times until she morphs into Adrian. Insert fight scene ala' Amok Time until Jason destroys Mirror Adrian via his anger. Carnivel arrives all impressed with his use of the force. Then Jason gets all nine kinds of dead sexy vocally as he asks Carnivel if Benny has really told her just how much they love each other.

Tim: (as Jason) Did she tell you about how we got married and had all these Doctor Who characters as our guests?

Jason slowly slips into madness as he reasons that the only way to fix things is to blow the mirror up. He'd rather kill Benny then let her live and possibly hook up with Adrian.

Me: Here's Johnny!

Benny is on the run and ends up facing four mirrors, Mirror Jason, and another Mirror Adrian. Mirror Jason tells Benny how much he needs her and Mirror Adrian says she should be with him since he's the father of her baby. Both ask for a kiss.

Me: Seriously, Jason is downright sexy at this point. (looks at Tim) It's a girl thing, okay! You guys get your companions and Benny. Until Jason all I had was Adric, Harry Sullivan, and Turlough.

Tim: (As Heamavores) Everyone wants to come into the mirror.

Benny eventually finds her mirror self and learns what's going on. Brax is busy espousing to Carnivel why he cares about Benny and not Jason or Adrian. Carnivel calls him "Cardinal Braxiatel". After destroying Carnivel Brax decides to save Jason.

Adrian wakes up to a mirror version of himself showing up.

Tim: It's pop up video.

Jason figures it all out regarding Brax's dark nature. Jason reminds him he was off in the alternate dimension after Dellah was destroyed so he wasn't there when Brax set up the Collection. Realising he's been rumbled Brax hypnotises Jason into forgetting the last few minutes and to suffer migraines if he gives any serious thought to Brax's ulterior motives. It works but Jason is still intent on destroying to mirror to let Benny and Adrian stay together.

Me: He probably should've added a bit about forgetting about Benny and Adrian.

Benny is trying to convince Mirror Benny not to impregnate her by noting it's not cricket.

Tim: Rape: It's just not cricket.

Brax is still trying to talk Jason out of blowing up the mirror.

Tim: (as Brax) I'm not a nice man.

Jason utters a "goddess" as Benny gets knocked up by Mirror Benny.

Me: Is that a double drink for the Benny drinking game?

Tim: I don't know. I guess.

Brax says they have to do something to save Benny and Jason takes this to mean he should arm the explosives. Tim finishes up the announcement by the explosives that they have five minutes to get away.

Me: That might be the nicest explosives announcement I've ever heard.

Jason gets his first migraine as Brax and Adrian rescue Benny from the mirror. Brax challenges Dr. Phil as he talks sense into Benny regarding where she belongs. They barely make it back to the Collection via another mirror where Jason promptly collapses due to his Brax induced migraine.

Tim: That was one big mind fuck of an audio play.

Me: As as friend once said in regards to Memento "This is fucked up as a soup sandwich on a rainy day."

Tim: Strangely enough I was able to follow that one easier than the others. If David Lynch directed a Benny play this is what you'd get.

Me: Amazing performances all the way around, with Harry Myers and Stephen Fewell really getting a chance to do something a bit different as their mirror selves. We get the beginning of the Dark Brax storyline which gets mined for years to come. This is probably the first audio since Just War that shows just how complex and far reaching Benny audios can be.

Look, here's some stuff we're pimping. It's gotta go somewhere so why not at the end this time for something different? Did you watch the olympics? Are you wondering how London can top China for the opening ceremonies in 2012? Someone has come up with an option. David Tennant lighting the cauldron dressed as the Doctor. Check out the petition here.

A trailer is up for episode three of the ninth season of Benny, The Adventure of the Diogenes Damsel.

Wil Wheaton is the man. Not only does he speak wisdom when he says you shouldn't be a dick, but he's done reviews of the first half of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes over at TV Squad. He also got an awesome black velvet painting of Wesley Crusher which you can see at his website. No seriously, I can't make this shit up.

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3rd Bob said...

That painting is teh hawsum. Except it looks more like Ensign Tiger Woods than Wil.

The Audio Time Team said...

Yeah, and if you go looking at the picture via the flick'r link a lot of the comments note that. Actually the comments are almost as awesome as the painting itself.