Yes, after a two month hiatus we've gotten the band back together for another thrilling Time Team installment. Nothing exciting on the food front this time, just pizza. Beer supplied by Shiner, the Dunkleweizen version. It looks like we're just doing two today which sadly ruins my grand plans for what would'be been a Fewell double feature in January with Red Dawn and Just War. That makes me sad, but I'll survive.
We start off with the Land of the Dead with Peter Davison and Sarah Sutton in her first audio as Nyssa.
Tim and I note that Lucy Campbell sounds a bit too much like Janet Fielding.
Tim: Why did it take like fifteen minutes for the TARDIS to land? We've been hearing that sound off and on from the beginning.
I note that it's only been like six minutes, but it doesn't bode well if it feels like fifteen.
Tim: Have you noticed that a lot of Davison's adventures spend the first episode or so in the TARDIS? Maybe it's a style choice.
We can't figure out if a character is supposed to be Eskimo or Korean. In either case the voice is hardly believable as either. And what kind of name is Johnny Old Man anyway? They couldn't come up with something better?
Then we get more history lessons from the 5th Doctor regarding the discovery of Alaska and ravens. I decide the name of the tribe would be cooler if it was called donkey kong.
Our minds all hit the gutter when Nyssa exclaims that the beast they encounter is so massive.
Tim: I'm just seeing giant penis monsters. Thanks.
Angelie: You're welcome.
Me (as Gary Russell): Yeah, Sarah, even though the giant penis monster is chasing after you just play this bit bland.
Tim: Nyssa was the cool, calm, collected one. Davison had way too many companions and if I had to pick one I'd pick Nyssa. Imagine how their stories would've been without Tegan and Adric.
All the voices sound too similar to one another. If they weren't saying each other's name every other sentence we'd have no clue who was who. We hit the first instance of Big Finish's poor casting of American voices as we listen to Tulung talk about his dad and Brett's dad.
Tim: It's a shame John Barrowman wasn't living in the UK during this time.
Today's audio is brought to you by Al Gore and Greenpeace as we listen to the debate versus drilling for oil and leaving the tasty sea creatures alone. Mmm...them's good eatin'.
We hit the end of the first episode and afterwards Tim asks if anyone actually knows what's going on. We all agree that they're in Alaska, Americans are ruining the land, there's something massive running around, and they just uncovered a fossil.
And once again I decide that the direction for this scene must've been bland, just play this scene with no sense of urgency.
Tim: At least she's not screaming.
And we have title!
Tim: Land of the Dead. The mink are revolting.
See, I like to eat animals way too much to care about the faux eskimos and their love for the land. The Doctor becomes the tea bitch for Nyssa and Monica as we discuss whether sex attracts evil or not in these type of shows. Monica enquires if the Doctor and Nyssa have anything going on and the Doctor says they're just friends. I note that this is because it's Classic Who and not New Who.
Sweet! If I wanted I could buy this as a cassette still from the Big Finish site.
Near the end of the second episode I ask if this is where the velociraptor eats the fat one. Tim nods his head and then sure enough Gaborik becomes dinosaur chow. I love it when I'm right.
Nyssa explains that the Doctor told her that the dinosaurs went extinct nearly 65 million years ago. Tim says that that is when they had Tegan and I note that the dinosaurs died when Adric crashed into the planet.
The second episode ends and we take a quick break. Angelie goes for a diet coke to try and stay awake. Thank god for the Benny's because this one's another dullard.
Angelie: We put a different tone to it. We made it sexual so we have to let that die off. I am trying to pay attention.
Tim: This would've made an okay television episode.
Nyssa asks how velociraptors could've cut the phone line.
Tim and Me: Have you not watched Jurassic Park?
The sexual innuendos continue and it seems we've decided on sex for the tone. Really, the jokes just write themselves. "His name is Tulung? It's so tulung it's massive!" See?
Towards the end of the third episode Brett takes Nyssa hostage and threatens to break her neck. Which as we all noted would ruin the plan to use her to protect them from the velociraptors.
Tim: Is this over yet? Oh no it isn't! See, this is weird but I really would've liked this as a tv show. See them in Alaska and the dinosaurs.
Angelie: As an audio I just can't see it.
The fourth episode finishes and there's much rejoicing. Ya! Time to put in Walking to Babylon, the first part of the Time Ring Trilogy.
Angelie: I hope it's massive for Benny.
Tim: As in "Oh, Jason, it's so massive?"
Benny and Jason exchange sexual barbs and it's clear the tone will continue to be sexual in nature.
Angelie: I think he's trying to get her to use the rings.
It doesn't take long for Jason to get himself into trouble and it's up to Benny to save him. Again. She ends up in Babylon and comes upon Ninan, played by Lis Sladen. Or as a whole generation of male Who fans call her, Sweet Sweet Sarah Jane.
I guess it's not so vital to find Jason and the People if Benny has time to shag Lafayette. Or it was a quick shag. Either way, doesn't really reflect well on Benny. Lafayette begins to apologize for having unwed sex with Benny.
Angelie: Wait! I fell asleep. Did they do it?
Lafayette busts out a gun to protect Benny and oops, there's go the future. We get a quick reunion between Jason and Benny before he's knocked out and Lafayette busts a cap in someone's ass. And why does the drone make noises like R2-D2?
Benny wonders why Lafayette had to be the hero when Sweet Sweet Sarah Jane tells her he's gonna die.
Me: It's because Jason was knocked out cold.
Tim: People that have sex with Benny always end up in danger.
Angelie: No sex with Benny. Oh my god! Precious moments. (insert choking noises as Lafayette and Benny share a schmaltzy moment as he's dying)
Me: This Hallmark moment is brought to you by...
Angelie: Die already!
Tim: He's been talking for a long time. Shouldn't he be dead by now?
The Drone shows up to save Lafayette and it starts channeling Twiggy from Buck Rogers in between channeling R2-D2 and Max Headroom. Benny gets excited about Lafayette living and I point out that her ex is still around. And sure enough we get a round on who's Jason/who's John Lafayette as each man gets pissed about finding out about the other.
Angelie: Shut up, Jason! You stole her rings.
One of the People is killed when they touch John and we learn that not only should you not have sex with Benny but you shouldn't touch Lafayette. And knowing is half the battle!
Jason starts to teach women's lib as he empathizes with Miriam's plight. Can I just say that Miriam so does not sound like she's 14. And apparently the story of he and Benny hooking up is enough to get Sweet Sweet Sarah Jane to leave the temple and help Benny save the world in the nick of time. And then the tunnel explodes with Benny and Jason in it.
Tim: Was that a cliffhanger?
Me: I'm sorry. Did I forget to mention that this was part of a trilogy?
We keep the disc going and listen to the behind the scenes interview Nick Briggs did with Lisa Bowerman and Stepen Fewell.
As we look at our calendars check back here to see when we get together in December for The Fearmonger and Birthright.
Know your frenemy
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